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thailife
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Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster!
Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!
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A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"
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Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you ?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It’s your f***ing plane!"
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Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
"I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.
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Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on"
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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spreadeagled and says "You know what I want don't you ?"
"Yeah," says Paddy... "The whole friggin' bed by the looks of it!"
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Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not
servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
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Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head to which Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!"
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Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like
mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?"
Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like it!"
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Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name ?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London !"
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:54 am on Jan. 9, 2012
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dirty guru
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How do you make lady Ga Ga?
Poke her face
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 6:30 pm on Jan. 20, 2012
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dirty guru
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Why is going down on your sister like drinking light beer-??
Well it sort of tastes the same - "but you know somethings not quite right"
: :
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:28 am on Jan. 22, 2012
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hvid
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... I was sitting at a stoplight yesterday, minding my own business,
waiting on it to turn green. A carload of bearded, young loud Muslims,
shouting anti-American slogans with a half- burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car...
... -and a.. "Remember 9-11".. slogan spraypainted on the side, stopped next to me.
The light turned green, the Muslims praised Allah, shook their fists, hit the gas, and darted off ahead of me.
Suddenly an 18-wheeler came speeding thru the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it compleeetely, killing everyone in the car.!!
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself..,
-"Man... that could have been me..".!
So today; bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 3:18 pm on Jan. 24, 2012
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expatchuck
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History lesson for the unwashed among us...
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The U. S. S.. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers).
However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S. S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."
Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."
Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.
Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.
On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each.
By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.
The U. S. S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky, and 38,600 gallons of water.
GO NAVY!
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:51 pm on Jan. 25, 2012
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atl
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can any bro's give me the best one line joke they ever heard?
much obliged 
atl
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:26 pm on Jan. 26, 2012
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jingjo
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Ok
Say's your names Gregory
Your at a Party and meet some hot bitch
You say to her, Hi I'm Gregory pleased to meet you!
Than you say to her what do you say? when you've had 3 orgasms in ten minutes?
She reply's I don't know?
Stick your tongue out like Gene Simons and say THANKS Gregory.
Works every time.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:28 am on Jan. 27, 2012
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expatchuck
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Quote: from atl on 12:26 pm on Jan. 27, 2012
can any bro's give me the best one line joke they ever heard?
much obliged
atl
Barack Hussein Obama.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:39 am on Jan. 27, 2012
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magnum
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... to a lass working the bar scene, apparently receptive to approach: "Hey cutie, nice dress... but, do you really want to know what would look good on you?... uh, me."
... she might either grimace, turn, and walk; or, suck up next to you like a second pair of underwear.
... the response is seldom ambivalent.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:46 am on Jan. 27, 2012
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